NOW PLAYING: Wearin' o' the Green

17 March, 1999
Everyone's Irish on St. Paddy's Day! Which means that I get to be extra Irish, since I already am part Irish... Not that it's a real big deal down here; just an excuse to pour green foodcoloring into the Budweiser and get blasted.

Speaking of beer and Bud and Anheuser-Busch, The Wife bought a sixpack of Tequiza the other day. My theory is that some Bright Guy at the brewery figured out what they could do with all that past-its-expiry-date piss-beer: add some overbearing flavorings and stuff, relabel it, and TaDah! A New Beer! Tequiza! A Tequila-flavored beer (with a hint of lime!). It's okay, I suppose -- don't see us passing up the Bass or Newcastle for another sixpack of it, though.

The Wife is part Irish, too -- you can tell, 'cause she's a redhead -- and claims she's never had green beer (or doesn't remember having green beer; a small but crucial distinction...). When she asked me what it tasted like, I told her that it tasted like the usual cheap weak piss beer, but it was green. If you took two glasses of cheap weak piss beer, one of which was green, and did a blind taste test, you'd never know the difference. They both suck.

The big difference comes later, after you've had way too much cheap weak green piss beer -- the term "Technicolor Yawn" takes on a whole new meaning. Not that I've had that particular personal experience with cheap weak green piss beer. I was witness to a friend's fate in college, though, and it wasn't one I'd care to have and hold for my very own.

And speaking of something that one wouldn't care to have and hold for one's very own, I suppose since the Smartest Woman in the World is really cheesed off at the First Felon, ol' Bubba can slink off to a quiet corner with the Dog (assuming the Dog is still willing to be seen with him) and drain a few green ones without worrying that Ms. Rodham will be any more furious with him than she is already. I imagine cheap weak green piss beer is just his style o' brew... unless he prefers some Chinese brand.

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