NOW PLAYING: Ramblin' Boy 11 April, 1998 Three lucky schmoes split it -- one of the winners is a guy in Atlanta who's a 64-year-old, $270-an-hour lawyer. Like HE needs it... Them that's got, as the saying goes. The Wife and I saw Lost In Space the other day. Didn't read any reviews before we went, which I usually do. I think we would have passed if we had. The Wife said she can't remember if she had seen a worse movie. I'm pretty certain that I have, but offhand I don't think I can remember what it was... The saddest thing was that the whole Lost In Space thing had such potential. (Well, maybe the saddest thing was that damned computer-generated alien-cat-critter. I couldn't see any reason for that waste of processor power to be in the picture.) The original TV story was based (loosely) on the Swiss Family Robinson. If only they hadn't spent all their money on special effects (that weren't all that special) and worked on an actual story... imagine the coolness that could have been if the spaceship had crash-landed on a planet and they had to use what they had to survive (a la the Swiss Family). No, instead we get a bunch of CG spiders and some cockamamie "time machine" nonsense. The Wife was really close to walking out on the whole thing. She's not the world's biggest Matt LeBlanc fan, especially when he's flaring his nostrils in every other scene, evidentally convinced that this is a "sexy" look. This isn't a film that any of the actors will be real proud to put on their resumes -- but I read that they've all signed up for TWO sequels if this stinker is a hit. If you, by chance, have not seen this thing, I urge you to save us from two more of these dogs by seeing something else. Go see Jackie Chan. Or even Titanic again. Anything but this. We survived a tornado the other day. Actually, slept right through it. A big ol' clap of thunder woke us up about 1 a.m., and the power went out. We closed a couple of open windows that were letting in some rain, then went back to sleep. When we woke up the next morning, there were trees uprooted, power lines down, signs torn apart, houses destroyed, and all sorts of other storm damage around us. One guy's Honda got squashed by a tree; The Wife wished she'd parked her Saturn Lemon there instead. We'd just put a new ($800) clutch into the thing the day before. Just 13 months ago (one month out of warranty) the clutch master cylinder had been replaced. And of course, had to be replaced again along with the clutch. Just another repair in the long, long, repair history of this damned piece of GM shit. If you're interested in the gory details of the Saturn Lemon, send The Wife some email -- she'd be glad to give you a list of reasons to stay away from a Saturn. Thank God I bought a Miata! Anyway, a whole bunch of houses in an upscale neighborhood a few miles away from us got trashed. Hard to feel overly sorry for people who have $400,000 houses torn up. I mean, yeah, bummer and all -- but they've got insurance and the scratch to put it all together again. I feel sorriest for the poor bastards in the Tornado Magnets (otherwise known as trailer parks) who get blown out of their $30,000 doublewide, with no insurance. That mill job isn't going to give them the extra cash to rebuild; what the hell do THEY do? We're just mighty glad to be as lucky as we were. Could've been way, way worse.
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