NOW PLAYING: 'Tis The Season

17 November, 1998
This is my favorite time of year, always has been. The temperatures are cool and pleasant, the trees are colorful and gorgeous, and the holidays are bright and festive. And all the different Seasons start now: Hockey Season, Basketball Season, Football Season, Hunting Season, Canning Season and Shopping Season.

It's also Fat Season. All those festive holidays come with tons o' fat-inducing foods -- Halloween, where you pork down all the candy left over when no little trick-or-treaters come by; Thanksgiving, where you stuff turkey, dressing, potatoes, gravy, veggies, rolls, wines, pies, and coffees into yourself until you have to unzip your pants and pass out on the couch, groaning under the weight of all those calories; Finally, you got Christmas with the Christmas cookies, cakes, pies, breads, sweets and a big ol' Christmas dinner.

By the time all those toothsome comestibles have settled around the waistline, you're talking some serious poundage. And you can't not eat it -- it all just tastes too damned good. So the only hope is to exercise like a fiend and hope you maintain your original weight, or at least slow down the gain some.

Another strategy is to go ahead and eat what you want, as much as you like, on the theory that you'll spend so much money buying gifts that you'll be eating Ketchup and Saltines for lunch in January, thereby losing all the weight you gained over the holidays.

Of course, until then, you have to hope that you get a gift of some new clothes a size or two larger than you normally wear, or a stretchy pair of sweatpants.

Because even if you get the "Super-D-Luxo Abdominator" as a present, you won't use it. And you know it.

Later,
Dano

 

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