NOW PLAYING: Shopping Maul

14 December, 1998
Just got back from doing some Christmas shopping. As much as I wanted to do all my gift-buying online, it just couldn't be done, and so I was forced to do battle with the Teeming Millions at one of the malls.

I'd picked my time as carefully as I could -- 7 p.m. on a Monday. The Wife was working, it had stopped raining, and waiting until later wasn't going to make the ordeal any easier.

There was the usual Holiday Traffic to fight getting into the parking lot, and since I don't mind walking I was able to snag an empty slot out in West Bumfuck. On my hike towards the mall proper, I was ambushed by a Mexican (or Indian -- it was dark, she had an accent, I couldn't tell) who beseeched me to buy some sort of "potpourri."

Yeah, right -- for all I know, this babe's a DEA undercover agent trying to get me to spring for a bag of Cambodian Red. Nuh-uh -- call me Ebeneezer Scrooge, but spending the Holidaze in a jail cell isn't my idea of a Merry Christmas.

So I passed on the potpourri, and ducked into Sears. I wasn't interested in the "Softer Side" of Sears (though a set of drill bits did catch my eye) and after figuring out the path to the rest of the mall started my Quest For Gifts.

Since some of my "giftees" are likely to read this prior to the "gifting," I can't divulge the details, but I was ultimately triumphant.

I managed to avoid the throngs of munchkins waiting to speak with Santa, and the lines at the registers weren't bad, either. But the Child of the Potpourri Purveyor pestered me as I was headed back across the packed asphalt wastelands.

I said "No" again.

I don't think I'm completely done yet, but with luck I can avoid another trip to the mall. The closer to Christmas, the worse it'll be. Happy Holidays!

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