NOW PLAYING: Millennium My Ass

29 December, 1999
When the clock ticks past midnight on December 31, 1999, (and people either party like it was 1999 or else load up the twelve-gauge with 00-buckshot to fend off the looters when the power grid goes down) no matter what may or may not happen with Y2K fears, it's NOT gonna be the freakin' "New Millennium!!"

Damnation!

If there's one thing that's been bugging me more than the complete idiots that pass for reporters spouting off about how "planes won't fall from the sky" because of Y2K (mostly because there aren't going to be any planes in the sky that night), it's these same idiot reporters talking about "the New Millennium" that supposedly starts on January 1, 2000.

It's not just the idiots telling the "news" that are pushing this misconception -- advertising, TV shows, merchants and others are all giddy about the coming "New Millennium."

And of course, if there's a lie being told, that Fat Bastard from Arkansas has to get in on it, too. Yes, the First Felon said in a Dec. 12 interview on CBS radio that "By common consent everybody decided we ought to celebrate the millennium on January 1, 2000 ... we're going with the folks. We've got a democracy here and that's the way we're going."

So, the actual fact that the millennium doesn't begin until January 1, 2001 doesn't really matter -- not that the facts would ever bother Klinton -- but as long as people believe the millennium is in 2000, well, hell... we won't bother to correct them, no. "We're going with the folks."

(The other thing to note with the Rapist-in-Chief's statement is that we don't have a "democracy" in this country -- the United States of America is a REPUBLIC, and there's a huge and important difference between the two...)

Anyway, a "millennium" is a period of 1000 years. Since our current calendar began with the year "1" (i.e., January 1, 1 A.D.), when you add 1000 years to that you get 1001 (1 to 1001 = the First Millennium!). Add another 1000 years and you have... January 1, 2001 (the Second Millennium). In other words, the year 2000 is the last year of the Second Millennium and next New Year's Day will be the beginning of the Third Millennium. See? Math isn't so hard!

If you don't believe me, check with the U.S. Naval Observatory (who just happen to be the keepers of the Master Clock for the United States, and certainly can be considered the authority on what the hell time and date it is). They have a whole series of pages about the millennium, including one titled When Is the New Millennium.

Celebrate the New Year, celebrate if Y2K doesn't cause The End of The World As We Know It, celebrate the fact that there are three zeros in the date if you must, but don't go calling it a party for the "New Millennium," dammit!! (at least not until next year)

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